Oh wow. Looks like some incoming freshmen are being toured around the library. I would know, because... well, I'm here. :)
It's the second day of summer class, and I still can't believe I'm actually in second year.
Yesterday, I applied for a new ID for the upcoming school year 2010-2011 at Xavier Hall (the administration building of the Ateneo). It's a refreshing change, since I still had my permed light brown hair in my old ID and it's pretty faded already, so it's about time I updated it to what I currently look like (and hey, who wouldn't want a shiny new ID?).
Good thing I had already paid for my summer class tuition fee; the lines were crazy! I mean, I love being around people and all, but when a relatively cramped area is filled with unfamiliar faces, it just feels really weird (and it didn't help that I was alone). So, moving on, I went to the ADSA window for my ID application, and the processing didn't take so long since there weren't many people in line. As I turned in the form and went in the ADSA office to have my picture taken, I took notice of the freshmen with their parents outside, still foreign to the environment I have learned to love for the past year.
I couldn't quite read the looks on their faces. I knew they were tired, stressed, and that they wanted to go home and just let the confirmation process fix itself. Although I didn't get to read their expressions, I was able to see myself in them with just their mere presence around me. Their aura was intense. The inner voices of "Yay! I'm in Ateneo! I can't believe it!", "What the hell is this place?", "Okay, now where do I go?" and "I wanna go home! Can't I just go back when school starts? Hassle eh" were in the air, not as audible whispers but as remnants of the voices that rang in my head when I was a freshman, in 2009.
As a freshman, I wasn't just eager. I was thrilled! Being accepted into the Ateneo is still, until now, a miracle for me; never in my wildest dreams did I even think that I would make the cut. The happiness was made more intense by the fact that my parents decided to give me a chance, just as they were thinking of not sending me to school anymore (it's a long story, but just so you know, I was by no means a problem child). Imagine my enthusiasm as I was going through the confirmation process--while everyone saw it as a hassle, I saw it as my "stairway to Heaven". I wanted change in almost every way possible, and I saw Ateneo as my chance to attain it. After all, I was stuck in two campuses of St. Paul for eleven years, and I didn't really have a positive attachment to any of the institutions. Needless to say, I wanted to start a new life, and I wanted it as soon as possible.
While my batchmates (not necessarily in my high schools) were still coping with "post-partum" depression issues, I was busy mapping out what I wanted to do. I envisioned myself returning to the experiences I have long forgotten (singing, dancing, being active in orgs, etc.). I was a teenager full of hope, dreaming of grades that soared like eagles, and hoping to get a scholarship once the dean's list-worthy grades are etched onto my transcript. I didn't worry about being away from my parents. I didn't worry about having no uniform (I rejoiced in it!). I didn't worry about anything I might encounter along the way. I was aware that college wouldn't be easy, and that it might be hard for me to fit in, what with the elitist demeanor of the majority of students in the Ateneo. I was starry-eyed with the dreams that I guess every freshman has lurking in his or her heart. For once in my life, I actually wanted summer to end. I was so excited to be in the school where I'd be staying for four years (hopefully).
When that summer ended, I found myself in an entirely new dimension. Indeed, it was a new life, and I savored the novelty. Yes, I was aware that it wouldn't be easy making it, but the thing is, I had no idea how tough the race was to stay in the Ateneo, much more actually get the stellar A-grades.
It didn't help that the upperclassmen were instilling fears on the freshmen, the frantic, clueless guinea pigs of the upperclassman bidding. Although, yes, maybe I should just get used to it, but I personally couldn't stand it when people from second year all the way to fourth year would tell us things like, "Oh, that subject's gonna be hell", "Wala, dedz na yan!", "Wag mo kunin yan! Di ka na nga matututo, di ka pa makakakuha ng mataas na grade". On one end, it's their way of helping, but on the other end, it instills fear. For example, if a freshman gets a professor and tells an upperclassman about it:
Upperclassman: O, sino ang prof mo sa (subject)?
Freshie: Si (prof's name).
Upperclassman: Ah, wala, dedz yan. Terror yan (and blah blah blah).
Freshie: :o :-s
I'm not saying that these responses by the upperclassmen are wrong. It's just that, when they tell a student about a professor, it would have been better if some of them (not everyone's similar to the example I've given) gave constructive advice on how to survive the subject instead of "scaring" the student into seeing the professor as a threat and not as a teacher. The problem with fearing the professor is that the student gets so frantic about the teacher's reputation that s/he ends up not doing well anyway, due to the implanted stress. If, on the other hand, the student knew that the professor was indeed (insert not-so positive trait), yet found that out on his/her own and sought concrete help from the upperclassmen who might be familiar with the professor in question, then that would better reinforce the freshman's performance, and in the long run, put him/her in better shape for an A.
Indeed, I turned out as an academic flop in my freshman year. Yes, I'm far from the borderline/minimum QPI requirement, but I didn't get the stellar grades, and the voices of the upperclassmen are still in my head: "it only gets harder as you go along the years" (or "it gets more impossible to get A's as you progress further into college"). Whenever this comes up, I'd rather just pay heed to my mother's advice, which I find more empowering: "kaya yan, basta ayusin mo lang ang performance mo".
Now, my excitement as a freshman is now channeled to my excitement for the incoming freshmen. Who knows what they may be going through now in preparation for college, but I wish them the best of luck. I'm not the smartest or nicest upperclassman out here, but I am optimistic in terms of their survival. I just hope they don't make the mistake of exceeding their cuts and plagiarizing. "Patay na kung ganun".
I left Xavier Hall after my picture was taken; the staff said that I could get my new (shiny) ID by Friday, April 16. I then went straight to the TNT board to check up on the requirements for the first interview. I hope I make the cut as a TNT; I want to see how the freshmen of this coming school year perceive their life as eagles. I want them to look at it with optimism; believe me, college is one of the most life-changing experiences out there. High school's great, but college makes mature people out of everyone (for the most part), and, if embraced and nurtured, can be the best four, five or six years of student life altogether. It really depends on how the person takes the opportunity.
Right now, I'm a sophie, still standing tall and preparing myself for my flight into the real world by 2013. I still have not forgotten my dreams from last summer, and I still have three years to make it happen. I don't care how hard it is. I'm gonna make it happen, and, with the experiences I've had from the last two semesters, I won't fail this time.
AD MAJOREM DEI GLORIAM!
posted on Monday, April 12, 2010 @ 7:12 PM
