"Okay lang yaaaaaaaaaaaaaan."Anton told me that as I sent him an SMS yesterday afternoon, ranting as a response to him asking how I was at the moment. In all seriousness, I never thought I would be this light-hearted at this very moment, at the moment when I'd usually feel the world collapsing on me.
YES. The grades have been unfolded.
Surprisingly, I don't really feel so bad about my grades. Given that I was an eyelash close to failing Ch1 (Chemistry) and that I had a rocky time in En12 (Research Paper and Reflective Essay writing), and that I incurred a total of 6 cuts out of the allowable 9 in Ma11 (Pre-Calculus), I can't really complain. Needless to say, I should be happy.
Yes, my parents aren't going to be so happy to see that my grades are mostly on the 2-scale. However, I'm tired of being scared to death.
Therefore, I shall count my blessings instead.I'm glad that I actually saved my Ch1 grade from hitting rock-bottom like my advisory grades "predicted". I'm glad my Fil12 grade went up a notch from C to C+. I'm glad I still got a C in spite of everything that had been lost in En12 (ARP and some of my passes). I'm glad I didn't fail Ma11 in spite of nearly failing altogether (Sir Mina, I will forever worship your ground of pure awesomeness). Above all,
I'M GLAD I MAINTAINED MY A IN LIT14 (Introduction to Poetry)--which is, might I say, my first ever A-grade in the Ateneo (and I swear that THAT won't be my last).
After a lifetime of being scared of grades being released, I think it's about time I broke this cycle. As my roommate would put it,
'KABUANG YUN, UY. I no longer want to palpitate and to drive myself nuts worrying the minute I even think about http://aisis.ateneo.edu. Seriously, it's not fun at all.
Thus, I have conceded to these.
I am aware that everyone is most likely comparing their grades on the Net right now, and although I nonchalantly answer the "What did you get in (insert subject here)?" question, I don't really intend to take part in the whole circus of QPI Juxtaposition. Now that I think about it, the principle of "Every man for himself" applies here.
It doesn't matter what everyone receives; what matters is what I get and whether or not I pass.I've never liked mediocrity. However, at the same time, I end up succumbing to it anyway. For far too long, I've been caught between this hatred for falling short of standards and the subsequent surrender to it in the long haul. I should have known, however, that no matter how noble ideals can be, reality should always be taken into utmost consideration. Sure, I'd like to give a paper that's worth an A with every drop of ink and leaf of bond paper used to produce it, but the professors have standards I cannot simply outsmart in one go. It's college; it's the time people learn things the hard way. Some people get lucky, but hey, that's a minority, and not everyone is that privileged to bag a stellar grade as easily as the others. Moving on, I have weaknesses I have yet to conquer, and
so long as those weaknesses have not been conquered or at the very least ACCEPTED, I cannot expect myself to get anywhere past the average.
I've let my emotions and the slightest notions of sloth get the best of me, which is why I can't expect my grades to reach the 3-peak. But it's okay. I've learned to not cry over spilled milk, that the grades I get are not the fault of the professors... or at least, not entirely. Knowing that I've not been the student I should have been in most of my subjects, it wouldn't be right to complain about what I received. Of course, if I know I deserve a higher grade, I would appeal (with civility, of course; I don't want to go ballistic in front of the people concerned); the thing is, such is not the case here. For so long, I've broken down like a wimp--an immature child--wishing that my grades turned out better. I was afraid of my parents, yes, but based on my performance, it's either I keep up what I'm doing now and just be indifferent to how my parents will react OR
make an effort to actually deserve the grades I want to achieve. In my opinion, the latter deems more practicable, and if I may say so, more mature.
(I'd like to expound on sloth, but I believe that it is something I should let go of. I don't know if I'll even be able to fully rid myself of such a flaw. Nonetheless, it is a given that it is a habit I must curb. That's a realization I've had long ago; I just haven't come around to working on it.)Above all, it is pretty futile to say it, but all that I have mentioned and have been mentioning, whether in writing or in discourse, will remain words without actuation. True enough, I must practice what I preach. I'd love to stress on this, but it's pretty self-explanatory.
Anyway, I'm just glad that my freshman year has ended with no failing marks and no tears of bitterness come the release of grades. For me, it's an alien experience, no matter how exhilarating. I have six more semesters and two summers to go to redeem myself. It's not yet too late, and I have all the power in the world to help me succeed.
It's already April 1st from when I'm writing this, but I'd like to fall back one day and state this:
On 31 March 2010, I have come to appreciate the beauty of the letter P
P for PASSING,
P for POSITIVITY,
P for PASSION. ♥Oh, yes.
I don't expect any future freshman to emulate my example and commit the same missteps I did (I'd rather not reiterate everything here, but some people would know). However, to any incoming freshman who reads this, I don't want to scare you into thinking that you'll have a hard time in college. I don't want you to feel petrified of the experiences you have in store for you, and I don't want to instil fears of any subjects (believe me, it'll make it harder for you to actually prevail over it). I don't want to give you a step-by-step list on how to survive college, because from what I know, there is no surefire way to actually survive. I'll leave you with this, though.
Remember that college is an entirely new world for you to enjoy. I'm sure you've all been missing high school from the moment you guys graduated (hell, it happens to everyone), but if you want to enjoy what the next four, five, or even six years has in store for you, stop retreating to your high school comfort zone in case things become too intimidating. It's okay to be nostalgic about certain experiences, but don't stoop to the point of wishing you were back in high school 'cause that is simply immature. Just show up in your new university and be the same (awesome) person that you are, or if you can be better, do so. College is the perfect moment to reinvent your image, so take every chance you can to remodel who you are. Don't forget the friends you've had in high school, but don't limit your lives to them and them alone. Life would be a total bore should you opt to limit yourself to the same people through and through, so learn to expand your circle and choose your crowd wisely.
As for academics, I won't tell you it's hard, but I won't tell you it's easy, either. No matter which school you attend, there will always be the difficult subjects, pain-in-the-ass professors, sonofagun classmates and little bummers in your school in general, so don't compare your experiences with those from other schools. Biases aside, no school is "an easy A" or "a living hell"; every school is a little bit of both. It all depends on how you set your mindset. Don't listen to people who scare you into thinking that you'll never survive (insert subject here), but do listen to as many practical pieces of advice as you can. Don't fear the foe, but don't take it for granted, either.
Lastly, I'll tell you something that I wish I could've done this school year: HAVE FUN! Bond with your block, be it group study sessions or block parties in some house/club somewhere. Socialize and be part of the world you ended up in. Don't stress too much on grades, but don't lose track of the goal. Don't pressure yourself too much, and learn to lighten up because the stress in itself is already a pain in the ass (and you wouldn't want to add to that). Go be a little crazy, and do things you've never done before (of course, know your limits). It's your last stretch of student life, so you might as well make it the most memorable experience you can make it. ;)
ANYWAAAY... I should be getting some sleep. I'm the only one who's up here, and I don't want to get in trouble with the parents.
I'll leave you to digest whatever makes sense in this blog entry. I leave everyone (and myself) with a pat on the back and a hug, and with a smile on my face, I'll echo what I have been told: "Okay lang yan."
CUMULATIVE QPI FOR SY 09-10:2.69Fam Medina is signing out. ♥
posted on Wednesday, March 31, 2010 @ 9:11 AM
Instead of reading my handouts from English class as what we were supposed to do in lieu of having class (I read all the handouts last Monday and Tuesday, anyway), I'm using the time to surf the Net (Twitter + Facebook + Blogger + *insert miscellaneous website here*) and listen to music here at the Matteo Ricci. To those who don't know, Matteo, as the Ateneans call it, is the study hall in the university, made for those who don't want to go to the library (or want to have group study sessions and reports but want a roof above them, strong WiFi signal and electric sockets).
ANYWAY.
Anton was on the radio last night, and for some reason, it got me really giddy here. I couldn't stop smiling as I was listening; like I told my friend Jagz, I was in that state of being entertained, kilig (or giddy), and awestruck, as Stanley Chi and (I forgot the other DJ's name) were messing with him.
It reminded me of a report in Fil12 class about radios, particularly radio callers.
And since I barely have time to talk about this in full detail... I'll have to go for now. Hahahaha!
(what a pointless entry.)
posted on Thursday, March 4, 2010 @ 9:39 PM
YES. The grades have been unfolded.