Let's Skinny Dip in the Open Flame ;)

I wanted to write poetry, then prose, then... BULLSHIT.

********

The streams

of your love

rushing down

invigorating

as your sinful

passion overflows

you quench my thirst

you electrify my soul

you collide with me

you make me shudder

and you sink into me

like placid foam in the realms of my soul.

********

With nothing but patters, beats of my heart

Here I lay, wrapped in soft, sultry shadow

Light against dark, the void transforms to art

and then, I shun the birth of tomorrow.

I am caged, bound with emancipation

from the chains that the world, with treach'ry brings

brought to me by sweet incarceration

Love's clutch is so sweet, so much that it stings!

Here I am now, with my warden--you

I must feel fear, but why has it escaped?

(K. Sonnet mode vanished in the middle of the sonnet. :| FAIL!) =))

*******

The failure has dawned.

The blooms of romance and sophistication have escaped me. Venus must have thought that my soul is too impure to harness the symphony that none but poetry could provide. I, then, am left with the raw crudeness of the heart, the feelings that dress themselves in vain with melody and language.

Therefore, this is all I can say.

You're all that I seek. You're most of what I think. You're some of what I hate. You're all that I need.

Does obsession cut it best, or is it inappropriate?

And before I could continue, the words are draining out...

...going...

...gone.

***********

SO MANY THINGS HAVE TO REMAIN UNSAID.

And my train of thought is like, bye. :-h

posted on Sunday, May 30, 2010 @ 8:08 AM

"...If it's worth having, it's worth fighting for." ♥

Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.

-- Lance Armstrong (via Tumblr)

Oh wow. Once again, I have allowed my Blogger site to "rot" a bit (thank you, Tumblr, for being such an attention whore).

ANYWAY... I really don't know what to write about. Rather, there's something I want to write about, but I don't quite know where to begin. Indeed, this is what impulse can do to you. Teehee.

Why are so many people breaking up lately?

I've been itching to ask that question, especially since so many people are falling out and ending it lately. Some came to my knowledge through Facebook, while others were personally told to me by my (close) friends. I find myself getting surprised at the outbreak of the news in general and with each couple. The couples whom I'd never expect to end it were the ones who actually fell out, and for what reasons?

"We needed time to mature."

"Love just isn't enough."

"The past came back."

Enough of the lame-ass reasons like, "He cheated on me" or "She was just too clingy and I couldn't take her anymore". People don't break up ONLY because of infidelity or conflict. People don't choose to end relationships JUST because they get fed up of the person's weaknesses (although that usually happens). Those kinds of breakups are born out of bitterness, but that isn't what I want to explore.

So why do near-perfect couples part ways?

This got me thinking. For so long, I've been part of the majority with the conception that for as long as two people in love (and in a relationship, to narrow the scope), there isn't any reason for the relationship to end. Being surrounded by contemporaries who fall in love and fall apart because of getting cheated on, having too many differences, getting caught by parents (like, DAMN!) and being maltreated conditioned my mind into thinking that these are what make relationships, well, not work.

However, that changes tonight... in a way, at least.

A friend of mine and I once formulated a adage by ourselves (I don't know if anyone has quoted this previously), "You don't need a religion to have faith, but you do need faith if you want to have a religion". Likewise, one need not have a relationship to love someone, but love is mandatory for ANY relationship--marital, romantic, parental, fraternal, etc.--to work. Religion and relationships are merely physical manifestations of the otherwise abstract emotions which push them into existence, which is faith and love, respectively. In the absence of these "forces", these manifestations are but a waste of time for those involved. What is meant to be a blessing for the human heart becomes a mere shell to mask longing and feign fulfillment, or worse, put on a mask to live up to social expectations.

Therefore, if there is faith, religion should be enough now, shouldn't it? And, in relation to the topic, if there is love, a relationship should work, right?

Now, I realize that it is not that simple.

In a relationship or any form of commitment to another entity (whether to a Higher Being or to another human being), a person is not affected in certain facets only. Once a person is genuinely affected by the thing his/her belief or compassion is rooted in, it sprouts branches into everything else. For one, if a guy falls in love, his entire idenity is affected, such that when the time comes that the object of his affection bids him goodbye, the life after that just seems to be nonexistent. Another example would be a nun who has turned to a convent for solace, after years of knowing nothing but loneliness and obscenity. If she were thrown away to the outside after spending years in solitude and prayer, she'd feel alien to everything and clueless as to what is in store for her. Faith and love are strong enough to make people fall madly in love with the past and present that they are stripped of the ability to foresee the future.

That is, if the only thing that governs the relationship is emotion. However, that is too purist, and it does not always apply. Even in the presence of strong emotion, there are still intrinsic factors that, although not bad in nature, have the ability to make someone choose those factors over their emotions. So, what could those be?

Identity. Realization. Maturity. Growth.

In a relationship, one person is bound to another entity. It pervades over everything about him/her; however, it does not mean that the person's identity fades along with the other. The self is a constant, in the stream of variables, the people who come and go and the feelings that hurt and heal. Although there is a "we" factor in a relationship, given that the persons involved are bound by a mutual feeling of love and concern for each other's interests, "we" still consists of "You" and "I". Those factors are still subject to separation, or "cancellation" in Math terms. In other words, even though these people are "one" in what they feel, at the end of the day, they're still individuals with their own dreams, ambitions and goals to attain.

What does this have to do with breaking up, then? Well, in a relationship, it's either people grow and learn from the love they give and share... or they may become too dependent on it such that their growth as people is stunted. There is a world that is formed when two people are in love, but then the reality still exists: the world is larger than that. At some point, IF the relationship makes the people involved forget that there is a world apart from the two of them, then it might do more harm than good in the long run.

So what's the point of being in a relationship with someone when it ends up making your mindset about the world, well, too narrow?

It really depends on the couple and their story. Sometimes, people just fall out of Cloud Nine and come down to Earth, with the thought that the Paradise they're floating on may not be the thing they need, and that they need to see their lives away from each other in order to fully become the people they are meant to be. Inevitably, there are relationships that are rooted in romance and pure emotion, or pure logic and tact, that the bond between the people in it becomes either too grounded in reality or too ignorant (?) of it. A balance is ideal, but not everyone can pull that off.

In any case, I think the best way to deal with this sort of conflict is to make it a mutual pact. This is where the purity of love DOES come in handy. As long as love is existing, separation won't be a matter for the friendship or the feeling of congeniality between them.

So maybe, if I concede to this, then maybe I shouldn't worry too much about relationships falling apart due to this, right?

MEH. Like I said earlier, this only alters my perception IN A WAY. That means, I still remain grounded on my previous beliefs.

In the way I view my relationships, I'm individual in the sense that "maturing" as a person does not entail having to part with someone. I am not the kind of person who sees her bonds with others as a hindrance to success. As much as I deeply respect those who need to figure out their dreams on my own, I disagree when people think that, in order to realize potential, one must sacrifice what they share with other people. I detest it when people say, when worse comes to worst, "There is so much more ahead of me apart from you and you'll just hold me back." It comes across to me as though the person whom s/he once fell in love with was actually a flaw to the ideal life that the person conceptualized. Love, after all, should transcend ideals; rather, it should let people see that life need not be perfect, and that a deviance from the archetype can actually make life more worthwhile than perfection. In other words, I think BONDS change as they AGE, but BONDS are not tantamount BONDAGE. Unless the other person is forcing his/her significant other into that bond (where it does become bondage, which, mind you, is not love), relationships aren't meant to limit someone's world into the realm that s/he and a loved one can fathom, but to actually expand that and make it more personal and inviting to live in.

Some people think I'm a masochist because of this demeanor, that I take in pain for something that wouldn't be worth it anyway (vague, yes, but I'd rather not go into detail now). Sure, I do take in some pain from time to time, and more often than not, I often whine about it, just to let out the negative vibes coming from within. However, I want to ask whoever agrees with these people: How can you tell?

I conceded to the fact that sometimes, I feel like giving up, too. My pain threshold, given the tenderness of my age, is still not that resilient. However, quoting the words of a friend of mine:

"Bakit ka pa nag-eemo in the first place? Use that determination. Lakas-lakas mong tao, you're thinking of giving up? Fight lang! Hangga't di niya sinasabi or ipinapahiwatig na it's over, don't let go! :D"

--"Tony Stark" (2010, via SMS)

I may not be practical, but I know how to live my life as an individual without compromising the people I care about. My life goes beyond that special someone, yes, but it does not go without him, too. He doesn't deserve to be blamed for the things I do or don't do because, first and foremost, my failures are due to me (99.9% of the time), NOT those around me; therefore, why go without him?

Well, that's just me. It's a different story when the other person already ends up actually destroying the person who loves him/her. However, as long as that person is still able to give the person s/he loves a withstanding inspiration of some sort in order to keep living life to the fullest, the relationship still holds promise. As long as the relationship brings two people to see that life is still worth living no matter how hard life gets, I don't see why they should part ways.

I respect the decisions of my friends for letting go of the relationships they hold dear. That's the dynamics of their bond, and I leave it to them to deal with their lives. I, on the other hand, remain adherent to my own convictions and repeat these lines to myself as I find myself wanting to retire for the night:

Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough, worth fighting for
Quitting's out of the question
When it gets tough
Gotta fight some more

Well, what can I say? Quitting isn't in my vocabulary, and I wouldn't dare give up on anyone or anything even if my life depended on it.

Hence, I close this entry with the same excerpt that I used to name this random ramble:

IF IT'S WORTH HAVING, IT'S WORTH FIGHTING FOR. ♥

Good night, everyone. :)

P.S. My writing style is bull, yes. :| Harr. I need to improve.

posted on Friday, May 28, 2010 @ 8:08 AM

Just a quick one before I go

Good thing about today: I've gotten loads of compliments in less than 24 hours.

Not-so good thing: I'm not getting them from the one I want them from.

Being in a debut yesterday, with its normal influx of couples and all that, made me a witness to PDA and all of that. When I lined up for food, the guy behind me told his girl, "Oh wow, hun, you look hot tonight". Envious as my nature is, I felt my pangs going at it again. Where was my significant other? He wasn't there, and that was understandable. However, he didn't text me the whole night, which made me rely on the company of strangers-turned-friends. That's okay, too, as long as I get to talk to him the next day.

But... no. I get blown off. Thanks a lot a. Here I am, trying to strike a conversation, and here you are, being all stoic (or whatever describes being... ewan).

And now, he isn't even talking to me. What's with the cold shoulder? I know I said a couple of stupid things the past few days, but that's because you're at your game of vagueness again. The shiz.

At the end of the day, I just want a single compliment from the person who matters the most. I just want a "Good morning" that's meant for me and not just a broadcasted GM, or a bitch fit of sorts (I don't mind it, just not ALL THE TIME). I just want answers that go beyond one word whenever I actually talk about something in detail. It gives the impression that you don't give a shit.

I sort of feel like an attention whore right now, but still, I just want a little bit of congeniality from you. Yun lang naman e. I don't expect you to be there for my every beck and call, but at least let me know you give a shit.

I'd understand if you couldn't contact me last night. But the way you pretty much blew me off just now is just... WHAT THE HELL.

It's bad enough I don't get to be with him as often as I'd like. Do I have to put up with unresponsiveness, now, too? That's just... UGH.

Oh well. Retail therapy, let's go fuck all day. Damn it.

posted on Saturday, May 22, 2010 @ 8:42 PM

Short and sweet, this one shall be :)

Again, this is a post meant for just one person.

I just want to thank you for today :)

I don't really want to make this too long, but really, thank you for the time we spent today. I'm so happy you remembered what yesterday meant for the two of us; I honestly didn't expect that you, too, would remember.

I hope you get your well-deserved rest tonight. I can't wait til the next time we see each other again. ;)

This is the song I wanted you to listen with me earlier. That's why I asked you to bring earphones. But, it's okay. I'll leave this to your viewing pleasure.

Bonne nuit, mon cher. I love you :)

posted on Sunday, May 16, 2010 @ 7:49 AM

A Trip Down Memory Lane... AGAIN :))

This is a blog post meant for just one person, but there's no use putting it on private. After all, I've nothing to hide ;)

imacrazylilwitch2817smileys: GAHHH. Pet Society won't load! I wanna plaaay! :|

malicious_apple: Uh... That's a loss... :)) :P

-- Y!M conversation (est. May 15, 2009)

I was going to give you a letter today in order to commemorate what makes today such a big deal, at least for me. However, we weren't able to meet today, so this blog post will have to do for now. Don't worry, though, I have something new to give you tomorrow. You should know by now that I almost never run out of things to talk and write about.

Today marks the day that you and I first talked to each other. I don't know if you already knew that, but I'm saying it anyway, just so you know.

It hasn't been year from the day we entered our relationship (at least, not yet), but it is the day that we became friends, and that is something I hold just as dear. You may think I'm being weird, commemorating something that people may just pass off as something ordinary. However, I do believe that the most important thing between the life (yes, that's singular) of two people is the day they meet. That's where it all begins, and without it, the romance wouldn't come to life to begin with. The beginning also gives an impression of how the two would turn out should a romantic relationship emerge out of their bond; it's the foundation that makes it sturdy once it reaches that point. Well, I've never been too keen on online friendships, and I thought that these were shallow and never work out, but the one I've formed with you definitely proved my stereotyped thinking wrong. At the time we were talking to each other on the Internet, I felt as though a connection was really bound to happen between us then.

My friend from dance-sports and I talked about relationships today. I told her that I don't quite agree with the saying, "When it starts too fast, it's bound to end just as fast if not faster". It's not really the speed in which two people move from friendship to something more profound; rather, it's about how they connect and how steadfast they are in keeping that connection. Everything between the two of us happened naturally, so subtly yet so effortlessly that I look at our humble beginnings and stare in awe at how that spark gave birth to the star in the heavens, close to both the moon and the sun.

Honestly, I never thought we'd see through this day. I'm thankful to the Heavens, though, that we did. Remembering everything we have been through after that fateful day has been seared into my memory, and nothing can ever take that away.

I'm thankful I was able to meet someone like you, and be close to you as I am now. You're the only man (yes, a man) who actually saw me more than just the typical weird geek. I'm not the kind of girl that anyone would look at twice, but thank you for making me feel that I'm someone worth a second glance. I never thought I would be able to connect with someone the way I did with you, but then you were the only one whom I felt an empathy of sorts in the most subtle ways ever. Just for that, I'll never forget you.

Oh and, yeah, you're gay, that's given. Hahaha! But I wouldn't have you any other way. It's something that connects you to women, and, therefore, to me.

Here's for the year of "sabaw" moments and conversations which would usually last from 9 AM through 11 PM or until my mom chases me out of the computer.

Here's for the year of sharing joys and pains, and insights about everything.

Here's for the year of the almost endless streams of comments, tweets, status posts and text messages.

Here's for the year of LMAO's and "Nyoron~" (cheesy) moments.

Here's for the year of sharing heartaches, heartbreaks and all those other things that make us less of the happy people we're meant to be.

Here's for the year I spent getting to know you and holding you dear as my special friend.

Here's for the year that completely changed my life and the way I see things.

Here's for the year of tria haec--faith, hope and love :)

I just remembered that I never got to thank you for how you made my May 2009 the best end-of-summer experience I've ever had so far. Thank you for making me see last year's summer in a positive light. At the time that I needed a friend to share my confidences in, I was able to turn to you even though we hadn't even met at the time. As you may know, my summer was full of feeling of being unrequited and deprived. Maybe my Psy101 professor's discussion on the "province girl Cinderella who surfs the Internet all day waiting for her Prince to come and take her away" applied to me after all. You listen to me whine and babble, and I still admire how your patience with me was that strong. I thought you'd hide away and never talk to me again after the first few IM's, but there you were. You stayed. Just when I needed to not be left behind.

I'll leave you with this song to wrap things up. This song was in my head when we watched the fireworks together at the Paskuhan in UST. Sure, there was tension between us at the time and it could have been better, but it's one of my fondest memories of us. That time, I was wondering if our relationship would even see the New Year; I was pondering on the question you raised last December 8, 2009 ("Do you still want to go on with what we have?"), and by the way you pretty much passed me off as blah during Paskuhan (kayy, bitter?), I didn't know if our friendship was strong enough to brave the storm. Now that I think about it, though, we made it through. Again, I'm thankful that we're still here, as friends and as lovers.

Sorry if the song may be too cheesy and stupid for you. It's my current LSS, and I think it's appropriate for this post. You can find the lyrics and the translation by clicking here.

I guess this letter has gone long enough. I'll end this by telling you that I may not always understand your way of thinking, but I'll take it in as your own will directing you where to go. I may not fully "get" your psychodynamics, but it doesn't mean I don't accept you the way you are. My comprehension is limited, but that doesn't mean my appreciation of you, your eccentricity and your uniqueness can't go deeper.

When you need to break down or you want to be "sabaw", I'm here, okay? Your every emotion is safe with me. I may not be you best friend in the whole wide world, but I'm being the best that I know how to be. I don't know if that's enough, but that won't keep me from trying. You've been there for me when my world fell apart, and I want to do the same thing for you.

"Don't forget

the day that we met

'cause it changes

history... at least for

you and me."

On May 15, 2009, I have taken a bite out of the malicious apple from the Tree of Knowledge.

The intoxication peaked seven weeks later... and has progressed exactly 41 weeks later (and counting).

There's only NOW.

There's only HERE.

HAPPY MAY 15th! >:D<

See you later ;)

'cause we shall forever be Friends and Lovers til the end.

posted on Saturday, May 15, 2010 @ 7:09 AM

BISPERAS.

"Today is for my MOTHER.

Tomorrow is for my MOTHERLAND."

-- Miriam Quiambao (via Twitter)

I don't feel like being too wordy right now, so I'll just give my two cents' worth on two occasions.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! ♥
(reposting what I have already put up on Tumblr and Facebook)

On Mother’s Day
My mom and I have the same birthday (28 July), and that day is one of the few moments when she’d actually take pictures with me ‘cause she doesn’t really like camwhoring like a teenager *ehem*. These are the two best pictures I have of us together (from 2008 and 2009), and I hope we get more shots in the future. :D

Happy Mother’s Day, ma :)
In spite of all the shit hither and thither, you’re still my mom and I love you for it ;)

No matter how much I found myself misunderstanding her and disliking her (hatred is such a strong word), I still love her and I am fully aware that my life is nothing without her. She's my mother, and she's always been there for me even before I was born. I owe her who I am now, and it's about time I let her feel that I'll always need her and I will NEVER leave her behind.

(photo taken here)

THE 2010 ELECTIONS
I don't want to talk about something I don't know much about, but here's something I can say. I'm sure most, if not all, Filipinos can agree with me on this one:

I'm not God and I don't know who's being real or who's not. I can only rely on my instincts and the little knowledge that I have. I can't vote, and my blogs and tweets are the only "automated elections" I know, and are my means of voicing anything out.

I don't believe that it the prosperity of the country in the future lies solely in the hands of whoever will be elected. At the end of the day, the country's future will be decided by the aggregate, the MASSES. The government can only do so much for the people, but in the end, it is up to the people to steer the wheel. The Philippines, after all, is not just a government. It is a NATION, with all walks of life forming its actual anatomy and making it exist as an INDEPENDENT land, existing with its own name and legacy.

Though I know the government is a crucial part of the economy, society and pretty much everything we do around here that involves people other than ourselves, the Philippines must learn from the errors of the past this time. Poverty cannot be fully taken away by just one, two or an assembly of individuals, nor can it be eradicated like smallpox. What should be done is to make sure that everyone lives humane lives with their rights and necessities granted upon them, even if they aren't filthy rich. We don't need people with just virtue or just intellect--we need people who have a balance of both, and are willing to rock the boat and forego their conveniences to remain true to their tasks. We don't need pretty faces or eloquent voices. WE NEED DETERMINED SOULS who know exactly WHAT is wrong with the country and that EVERYONE has a role to play in putting back the pieces of our broken land. Whoever fits these descriptions, I don't know. It may vary from person to person.

Whatever the result of the elections, I do hope that this won't lead to anarchy or another childish squabble among the powerful. THE COUNTRY HAS SEEN ENOUGH FIGHTS AND BRAWLS, so much that the people just laugh at it. It's about time we become critical and vigilant instead, and CONSTRUCTIVE in our criticism of the nation. We cannot fully alter the system, but we can move carefully and intelligently around it.

(photos taken HERE and THERE)

I pray for the wisdom and good judgment of the voters,
and the integrity and maturity of the candidates.

I PRAY FOR THE FUTURE OF
THE PHILIPPINES,
the land I've known all my life ♥

Good night, everyone.
VOTE WISELY... whoever it is :))

posted on Sunday, May 9, 2010 @ 8:47 AM

Oh, FUCK IT.

Alright, alright. I was gonna talk all emo again but there are things happening in our country that are way more important than that so screw my feelings. It’s election day in what? 3 days? 4 days?

I wasn’t paid to advertise anyone so i won’t be encouraging anyone to vote for some candidate because i don’t know any more than you guys, to be honest. I read THIS though. It’s not biased to anyone so if you want to be informed, read it.

Here’s what i have to say though..

Don’t just vote for Noynoy Aquino because of his parents because he’s not Ninoy or Cory, he’s Noynoy. If you rely on that info alone, then you might as well vote for Kris Aquino for president (Sige, she’ll put all jejemons to jail and require us to speak Taglish). Just because Noynoy’s parents were great (or so they say), doesn’t mean he’ll be the same. Maybe one thing i trust in the guy is the fact that he has a clean record so it’s very possible that he won’t steal. That i may be 85% sure of so that’s a plus. But then again, he may have a clean stealing record but he also has a clean and very empty record as a Senator with almost no bills passed. That’s one big downer. His platform isnt so impressive either. “Nangangako sa Pilipino na hindi magnakaw.” — o, tapos? You can vote for him for assurance though which everyone happens to be doing. Parang laging “Kase i don’t trust all the other candidates” lang yung reasons to vote for him. It’s actually unwise to vote like that. Okay, you trust him …. and that he won’t steal but do you trust him enough to run the country? two very different things. (I ABSOLUTELY AGREE. --Fam)

Don’t just vote for Manny Villar because of his jingles and commercials and because of all the famous people campaigning for him. Yes, Willie and Manny and Dolphy are all campaigning for him but does that mean he can do a great job as a president? I must admit, it was very wise of him to let the most influencial people in this country campaign for him but that’s more of a businessman move (PRECISELY!). Malay mo, those influential people don’t know shit about Villar either. Very wise move but not a wise reason to base your vote soley on the people on his side. His businessman-ness could be a good reason to vote for him. As sure as i am that Noynoy won’t steal, i’m pretty sure Villar will do good and productive things as president. I’m basing that on the many many bills and laws he has passed as Senator. Then again, since he’s a businessman, he’ll have to make money for himself as president and that’s not good since we don’t have that much money anymore. Though his songs get stuck in your head, that doesn’t mean that he can make all them lyrics come to pass as president. And besides… “Tapusin ang kahirapan”? A bit too high up there, don’t you think? (That's NEVER gonna happen. Poverty's as inevitable as death.) How will he start? Won’t he have to get back the billions he spend on campaigning first before stopping poverty? all in just a span of 6 years?

Don’t just vote for Gibo Teodoro because he’s smart and he’s from Harvard because lots of great presidents didn’t have to be from Harvard or pass bar exams and do smart stuff. What’s up with people saying they’ll vote for him because he’s smart? If this was about building a rocketship or inventing medicine, then i don’t mind people basing their vote on his intelligence but this is running a country we are talking about. Just because you’re smart doesn’t mean you can run a country. So meaning, since i didn’t graduate with laude laude means i can’t run the country just as well as someone who came from Harvard? I don’t think they had “Run a country 101″ there so.. One downer for Gibo, which a lot of people don’t realize, is how he never really used his smart-ness during his political positions. That whole Ampatuan Massacre controversy wasn’t very “galing at talino” of him as secretary of national defense. What’s having intelligence if you don’t use it? It’s like having wings but not flying. And if he does start using that intelligence of his, remember that Marcos was incredibly smart too. (But Marcos was corrupted... by his wife.)

Sorry but i don’t know much about Dick Gordon to say anything.. All i hear are good things about him. He seems like the most fit candidate to everyone. I mean, seriously. There’s that Subic scandal and the jail thing though but i really don’t know much about that or all the other issues to talk about him. I got tamad to read about him so sorry. Maybe the most shallow reason not to vote for a president is in him. I mean.. President Dick? How…honorable. Aside from his name being synonymous to cock, i have no bad things or good things to say about him. Just a lack of info and research, sorry.

The way i see it, it’s only between those 4… If Jambi wins, imma be like wth. (It's unlikely anyway)

They all have their flaws and they all have their strengths. For a country in dire need of a good president, we seem to have a lack of better candidates, to be honest. Merong hindi corrupt pero wala namang nagawa. Merong gawa ng gawa pero hinihinalang mangnanakaw. I guess it’s all about knowing what you think is best for our county right now. I can’t vote so this will be my contibution to my mother land. Don’t believe that they’re all the same and it wont make a different because it will make a difference. A BIG ONE. A difference i want to be proud of after 6 years. Vote wisely everyone! (ALL HAIL!)

-- Issa Colmenares (via Feel The Gasm)

(I just felt like quoting this since, like her, I can't vote ]I'm two years below the minimum voting age]. Hats off to you, Issa! :D The message will not be left unheeded. Trust me *winks*)

****

Anyway...

Today marks:

Two days before the epic (hopefully not epic FAIL) elections

The second long weekend this summer

My 19th month anniversary with Paula Briones

My 10 month anniversary with... *sigh*

Okay. Why am I commemorating things that don't matter? What am I celebrating? It feels like I'm having the party with only my shadow and the food.

Today, I feel hollow. I feel so far away from the people who love me and genuinely sympathize with what's racing through my mind right now. Why am I so sad?

I'm worn out.

When will I ever be happy here?

WHEN?

I need my faith now more than ever :(

But did I ever have faith to begin with?

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