-- No Day But Today (Rent)
Bon jour, mes ami(e)s. Mon jour? Hm. Comme ci, comme ça (?)... un peu mauvais. :|
I spent my day asleep, and it only made my sleep "cravings" even worse. Plus, it didn't quite help. I'm supposed to be finishing three things right now (all for tomorrow), but here I am writing another blog post. It's not that I think blogging is a waste of time, but right now, that pretty much feels like the case here.
Today, I feel lucid and sad. Apart from the fact that I didn't do so well during my ECO102 midterms (I kept spacing out during the exam and the professor used up so much time explaining things that we lost some time to answer the test), it feels as though last night was just a lucid dream. Why does something feel so wrong here? I hope this IS just my paranoia kicking in. Maybe I just feel a tinge of lonely wonder as to why he hasn't talked to me today aside from tagging me in a Facebook note on his perceptions regarding the now-obscure May 10 elections. I didn't even feel like writing a comment anymore; there were other girls who wrote almost the same things I would say. Besides, I wasn't in the mood to debate with him on things I don't really know much (or ANYTHING, for that matter) about.
I'm not that stupid to not see that there are reasons as to why he might have not talked to me today. It's just that, last night is still vivid to me, and although I can temporarily push it aside for serious "day-to-day" matters, I still wish that there
I feel sad that he kept shaking his head when I told him that he was strong and wise. He should know that even the strongest people break down, and even the wisest people are guilty of the biggest errors in judgment. He even shook his head (at first) when I told him he was loved, and it was really heart-shattering. It wasn't only because I felt that he didn't notice what's been burning in me for who knows how long, but it was also because his desolation reached an all-time high and I didn't know what to do.
All I can do now is pray and believe that he will see the light and learn to give love to his own heart.
On the lighter note, it's my dad's birthday today. :)
42 years of existence, and 16 years of love for me. I admire the love that fathers can give to their daughters. Men can only stay in a relationship with a woman for so long, but a father will love his daughter for all of his life. It's touching to know that I have a man whom, next to God, is living proof that love, indeed, transcends the bounds of time.
Bon anniversaire, Papa!
Jet'aime beaucoup :*
